My Nightmare Client

August 25th, 2016 by DiQld

Recently, I had a client who is every sex workers nightmare. He was attractive, confident, cheeky, strong minded, successful, an Alpha Male. I was lost from the very first kiss. He kissed and embraced me just the right way for me and it sent me spiraling into Desire and need. The way he held me and kissed me I got lost in the lust. I was addicted to ‘US’ after the very first kiss…

We hadn’t even reached the bedroom yet. I needed this passion, the very passion that has seen me join dating sites and leave them, the passion I had with my ex husband, the passion I so thought I would never experience again! It was right in front of me! I needed this man in my life…

And then I fucked it up!

His passion and need seemed to be an echo of mine…I couldn’t wipe the smile from my face, and it was mirrored back at me from him.

As a sex worker I am so used to pleasing others it is a rare occurrence for me to have my guard dismantled so darn quickly and easily by a man. I have had 2 such men in my 10 years as a sex worker where all my rules and safeguards just collapsed and I relaxed and let them in.

He returned later that day at my invitation and we kissed and had a wine, talked and kissed more and watched the sun set. He told me he could see a lot of sunsets happening like this… I asked if he felt the same – in that this was crazy but amazing, he said yes. We were stunned at the obvious attraction and speed with which the lust had happened…

After he left we continued to text then he stopped without me having any idea why. I have never heard from him again and doubt I will … I did send him a final text apologising for allowing my guard slip and for allowing my professional to disappear.

Instead of staying the sex worker, I slipped into the ‘OMG what if’ basic female that we all are underneath our well put together work masks. Don’t get me wrong, the woman you see is the real me – but the money allows me to switch off that part that can get attached to the man that pays me. It really is true when they say – You don’t pay us to stay, you pay us to leave!

I have managed to put the guard back up but I am still hoping that he will come back and kiss me like that again… But at least I know I am still capable of that burning passion and heady lust given the right circumstances…

A reason, a season or a lifetime… Was he put into my path to show me it is still possible…

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